They were taken more than 4 months ago, my first time on such scale and occasion. This month, I finally got down to editing all the photos I took for Pok and friends in mortar board and gown. Deleted at least half the shots that I took in all. At a count of 100+.. I really take a lot of crap.
Lesson learnt, never shoot more than you can manage. Minimalism is good, sometimes.
![The Graduate[s]](http://farm1.static.flickr.com/126/334100110_f9b5cda0a8.jpg)
Ho ho ho.. Merry Thaipusam!!
I wish people will stop wishing me merry christmas.
It really doesn't mean anything to me these days. I once thought it was something special, because Channel 5 usually screen their endless Police Academy re-runs for special days. Then I stopped watching tv.
If someone wishes me and I dun wish back, I run the risk of sounding rude. If I do, I know I don't mean it and will sound like another fool to myself. Most times I just tell them happy holidays.
If you're not a christian or catholic, why mutter to me words that are meaningless to you? To get into the festive spirit? Celebrate Thaipusam or Deepavali then. They show Police Academy on telly on such special holidays too.
Is this just typical of Singapore? I dunno. If you go hohoho in iraq today you'll probably get a car bomb in return.
But I'm not really pissed or anything, just slightly irritated. After all, I received an electric shaver from yesterday's family x'mas gathering thing. Though I wonder when I'll ever really use it. *strokes goatee*
And I like my new layout. took almost a lazy day to get it up. hohoho
I laid on the hospital bed, looking at other young patients. My eyes took them in in a different light, glowing and surreal. My shyness gradually subsided, much like the thronging pain from my fresh wound. Morsels of undiscovered warmth seeped through me, in a way that I've never felt before. I wanted to lean over and make friends with them, whose faces I had pretended didn't exist till then. I wanted to embrace this new found world. Something in me then questioned the absurdity of myself doing it. I battled that thought for a while, till I finally succumbed to the power of morphine. Drifting off from one surreal world to another.
Wish Upon A Star
Aaron Aziz sounds like an Indian high on drugs and trying to sing.
what was the show about man..? I dun get it.
Not watching local tv programs seems like a terribly good decision now.
My second marathon was completed at around noon of 3rd December 2006, almost 6hours after we started.
We ran so long, my safety pins turned rusty.
But once again we finished it together.
Swiftly they come, and depart as fast.
Exams are over once more, leaving that strange emptiness in you; suddenly you know not what to do when it's 3pm and you see the mid-day storm brewing, strange for you've missed every single similar storm for the past 2 weeks while hiding in the air-conditioned underground bunker of a study area, trying to study, and sometimes you actually succeed.
lost in space
time for a cup of tea and figure out what's next.
i have to write now, halfway through dawn and the singing roomie. half-way through exams and 4 hours from the morning alarm, the price for a prime studying spot, though the quality of studying can barely match the table's premium.
tonight.
an unfamiliar departure with heavy hearts. so helpless we are sometimes, fragile.
i like to think that i think about life a great deal. but in the midst of thinking i let life slip. i do the thoughts but failed to live the life. in another phase of the now familiar cycle, i seemed to have drifted once more. soon i will rein myself in and continue, in what, i'm not so sure.
I searched deep within and came up empty; will it be a cause of regret in years to come, i do not know. can i still look into your eyes and say i've tried?
in my pursue of nothingness, i have let go much, perhaps unwittingly, sometimes in tandem. too many things in life are transitory. i wish they hang around longer, to ease the nostalgia and the sentimental in me. when we look back with fondness, too late, is often the word. to the friends and deeds that i have neglected, i am sorry.
I do not like to stick a time and date to my mind. Time is what have already passed, not the future that we look to. date and time are fictitious, transitory. in the process of remembering and adhering fastidiously to date and time, have we overshadowed the reason behind said time? Have we missed the moment?
now that i have stated a reason, let's have the occasion. a sincere thank you to those who cared and remembered and those who will remember. and deepest apologies for those whom i have forgotten.
today, my phone also dropped dead. now i hear the voices but not read the words.
is there a point to these words, other than to satisfy my whimsical mood?
don't ask me. he do not know.
How to withdraw money from the Automated Teller Machine (ATM)
0. Wait an eternity for idiots who do not know how to use the atm
1. Insert ATM card, card facing up.
2. Enter PIN
3. Select quick withdrawal option of $50. Don't bother to go for $20 since you KNOW that you'll have to repeat the withdrawal procedure 3 days later.
4. Collect and keep your ATM card
5. Collect and keep your $50.
Unfortunately, last week I missed out step 5.
Again.
At least idiots keep their money.
I dunno what that makes me.
I think i've already done more than my fair share for charity this year.
chee bye
I hate this computer game programming shit. the whole cohort is full of friggin scary no-life geeky nerds. just like the entire IT industry. fuck. i'm fucked.
2nd Nov - today I ran 8km. I saw a snake peeping at me, its head sticking out of the drain grates. I crossed an acquaintance twice. She seemed shocked at seeing me the 2nd time down the same road. I ran past a stranger 3 times. she is on the heavy side but full of determination.
1st Nov - yesterday afternoon i dreamt of myself breathing. I was breathing differently. I exhaled when the next sequence shd be to inhale, and inhaled when I shd exhale. Suddenly I couldn't breathe, for real. I woke up.
31st Oct - That night I ran from NTU to Chinese Garden and back. I wanted to step into the garden (with the huge lake) for the first time in my life, but it was pitch black and eerie at 1.30am. I ran for 1hr 20min, because i sort of lost my way while running back.
30th Oct - Monday. Groundbreaking ceremony briefing at Orchard Turn. They spent $100 for two guys to pull the curtains. Two under-grads were dumb and cheap enough to take the job. One of them was me. Tuesday, actual ceremony. They brilliantly stapled the curtain to the floor to make it taunt. Upon cue, I pulled open the curtains but they got stuck to the floor like how i exactly feared, infront of an MP and the media. Dumb and cheap undergrad looks like a fool as well.
The decision to abandon lessons and head to SMU for the photography talk last friday was probably the best I've made in a while. Not because it's an excellent reason to skip some crap chinaman lectures, but for what was gained in that few hours.
The speakers that day were Tay Kay Chin, Darren Soh, Wong May-Ee, Ken Seet and Samuel Seow.. All reputable photographers in Singapore except for the latter who's a lawyer and shared some stuff on copyrights and such.
All the speakers exceeded their allocated time, but not that the audience mind. Each shared their experiences on the job and gave valuable insights. And there were of course the photographs. Lots of them, all great shots. Particularly those in Ken Seet's signature b/w style. The photos practically stunned the whole hall into silence, punctuated only by occasional respectfully muted coughs.
oh brilliant.
Into the day of October haze
Sunlight a glob of misty glow
Chirpy birds atop a tree I heard
Yellow-bellied, sharp and shrill
Uplifting, absorbed was my gaze
Transfixed eyes and striding near
Two steps later what halts me, but a bang
Smashing sound I heard, right through the head
It was a lamp post, straight and stout
That with bare skull I valiantly fouled
Hear the resonance, cold black steel
See darken noon and swirling stars
Bathed in laughters faraway I heard
All in vain of a pair of chirpy fucking birds
I'm still alive.
Off to Rainbow Falls, Kuantan.
I dreamt of a spectacular rainbow sometime this week, in 3D no less.
From a piece of paper upon which I noted down, 9 months ago, the list of well-wishers from last year's birthday, not that i celebrated it or something. Thanks to all these people who remembered:
First wave - The Swift and Deadly:
Weiweiwei the Great
Tan the Loyal
C-cube from Upstairs
Baolin the Impish
Rachel the Black
Toh Family from Hougang
Jo the Milky Cow
Second Wave - PE3 Bookworm Club:
Kevin
Gabriel
Jackson
Ah Boon
Huiling
Weiquan
Jason
Third Wave - Disparate:
Ruping the Decade Long
Huda my Favourite Malay
Angeline the Doll
Kaifeng the Chapteh King
Dali who Shoots
Dylan - AMok Duke
Dehong who is Tall
Spotted today:
people from hall tried staging rescue effort for poor Pussy. She was brought out of the cage and amidst traumatized scratches, was given a dry bath of powder and whatever stuff, probably in an attempt to reduce the stench. Pussy was then put back into the cage. After they left, I then took a look at Pussy, and noticed the potent pieces of shit still lying at the corner of the cage.
No dis-respect to them, but don't they flush the toilet after they wipe shit off their own asses?
Neighbours and others in hall found stray kitten somewhere. kitten is brought back to be aclimatised into a fellow Hall 1 hostelite, in a cage along the corridor, my corridor, 1 meter away from my door. Kitten shall here-on be referred to as Pussy.
Pussy, as are all young animals, including human babies, is very cute. Pussy gets plenty of visitors in the first week, especially late at night. Pussy sometimes mew non-stop in the afternoon when no one is around.
Pussy should make frens with my roomie's 2 surviving hamsters, who don't discriminate, as I predict that Pussy's popularity and number of visitors will rise and drop exponentially like that of my many newphews and nieces, who were once adorable human babies.
this week, the number of visitors seemed to have dropped. all the previous visitors seemed stunned and amazed that Pussy, however cute and adorable at first, is capable of shitting and smelling like shit, due to Pussy being smeared in shit as the cage is too small and no one wants to take out and play a pussy who smells like shit.
In a year's time, when Pussy gets older and not cute, like how lovely human babies turn into brats, no one will give a damn about visiting Pussy at late nights nor remember how, once upon a time, she was picked up at a park and didn't smell like shit.
First day of the new semester and my final school year.
And I feel ashamed of myself.
This girl stood beside me at the bus-stop. When I first saw her, she had this funnie look on her face.. not a very happy one. Moments later, I saw her clutching at her waist. Catching her breath I thought. Then she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. That was when I realised that she's actually in pain, like gastric or something.
I debated with myself whether to help her in whatever ways I can; at the very least, words of comfort can do wonders sometimes. The dilemma was shallowly settled by the arrival of my bus. I took another look at her before boarding. I am such a pathetic prick.
Along the short bus ride, I wonder if she's alrite and hope some other nicer being who are not pricks had helped her.
When it was time to alight, I found out that the bell wasn't where it's supposed to be. Looked around, then this other girl on the next seat pressed the bell instead, somewhere on my blind side. 3rd year student acting like a chao freshie.. After I got down, I turned back but she was still on the bus, and it dawned on me that she actually stopped the bus for me and I didn't even acknowledge it nor thank her.
A prick I am, twice over. I feel sad for myself.
Went back to my room and ate a peach.
I NEED a pair of this:
in green.
went to google for it, but the ALL the websites that mention it are either in jap or taiwanese.. what's wrong with singapore?
Love is two people seeking a common space and if they find it, love is forever
- christopher doyle
Motherless Brooklyn - Jonathan Letham
A man working for a shady detective agency in Brooklyn turns detective himself, seeking to untwine a ruthless crime and exact revenge for his murdered mentor/employer/____ (someone who gives verbal insults, whatever he's called. abuser?).
That's the simplest and an utterly unconvincing introduction that one can start off with to throw off the unsuspecting book browser. But that's not how this book won over numerous critics and awards.
The plot runs around characters with character; sprouting jokes with baffling punchlines that perhaps reeks of shady New York. Lionel Essrog has Tourette's Syndrome, sparking off in him uncontrollable shouting tics and a tendency to count things, any thing. That prolly upped the excitement a little. Brings to mind whiffs of the Belgian film, The Alzheimer Case; another imperfect detective.
In fact I feel like I can identify with the Tourette's sufferer on a personal level, our minds or body somehow flawed. That's why I like the book so. And of course, the author, Jonathan Letham, is tops. Humour within brilliance, I like.
The title reads: Recent Reads. Plural. Another book to go. But I suck at writing book reviews so much I'll just write this in brief for my own good memories' sake.
The Plot Against America - Philip Roth
Alternative history. Didn't realise that till I was 3/4 throught the book whereby I thought Charles A Lindberg was american resident for real. And part autobiographical, though how alternate it is from his real life, I have no idea.
Jewish kid growing up in american jewish family in a town largely made up of jews. Hitler and nazis started jewish holocaust in germany and eastern europe. WWII starts. american jews started fearing for their lives after F. D. Roosevelt got ousted by pro-nazi Lindbergh during the elections. book documents their lives for the many years to come till it was all over.
From here i learnt about the often misunderstood and sometimes mysterious Jews. In the past when I wonder if being Jewish is a race or religion, I now know that it is a bit of both, with no clear distinction, depending on tradition and personal beliefs. And the holocuast, aviation history, fascism, socialism, democracy and so on. I feel smarter after reading this book.
I thought I'm done, but from here, I suddenly remembered about another book that I've read before this.
War Thrash - Ha Jin
Compelling read. Communism vs Socialism. China vs China. Korea vs Korea. America vs Russia. something like that. Insight to some colorful and bloody part of china's history. Mao Zedong. Deng Xiaoping. Chiang Kai-shek. Taiwan. socialism. communism. democracy. egalitarism. nationalism. cultural revolution. red booklet. lotsa shit that I never really understand previously and even now.
It was this book that lead me to picking up The Plot Against American when i chanced upon it on the shelf. And which also revived my memories of Hou Hsiao-Hsien's 1980 film, City of Sadness. Excellent film starring a very very young Tony Leung still with chubby face. Set during the period when China's nationalist troops under Chiang Kai-shek took over Taiwan, the Island of Freedom. hope i got that right. wrote a review for this before but never got around to finishing it. this will suffice.
And so you see, it's all linked. From Charles Lindbergh to Hitler to Mussolini to Mao Zedong to Che Guevera to Tony Leung.
What a small world.
Final Year Project sucks. CeMNet sucks. My project sucks. My supervisor's instructions sucks. My computer sucks. Microsoft sucks. visual studio .net sucks. Work sucks. And some other stuff sucks too.
Everything seems to be going wrong now. It's bad.
i need to write.
I feel like i'm in a state where i'm about to turn into a fool again. or have i already been one.
feel like i've let down and hurt more people than i ever should.
i've also been hurt more than i think is my fair share. once is more than enough, surely?
maybe this is karma.
but no, for that would betray my agnostic beliefs.
so to put it in a different light, this is all just tough shit that happens.
life can be full of shit, if you dun do it right.
i know, for shit just happened to me today.
banged my head very loud and clearly against a big piece of glass that's even cleaner and clearer, beside the escalator.
it was a very very clear piece of glass. so transparent, you won't know it's there till you bang your head against it.
free stand-up comedy that's actually funnie.
i was actually woozie from the head-on collision, but i heard that it's funnie, coz my frens shouted and laughed with undisguised and unashamed joy without a fraction of guilt.
so did a million other Marina Square shoppers and diners who were there at their stage-side seats.
karma i tell you, agnostic or not. shit will happen to them too,
one day.
Sometimes I feel the need to blog, but what about?
It's time in the middle of the night, when quietness encompasses, or noises from night dwellers that sound like part of the silence, not belonging to you. Or the creak of the swivelling fan, on its 9457th rotation since two days ago.
Out of the window where dark clouds loom in reddish horizons, you feel small and insignificant, a speck of the world. Who will remember you?
The life of the future flashes past. The end of the paper chase, the start of the rat race, assemble a family, then bade farewell to all and life.
Will there be someone to hold you at the window sill at 3am of a wednesday night when moonlight fails and stars don't shine to mask the shadows of this silent world?
I went to Plaza Singapure 3 times in the last 4 days. I don't work there. I caught 3 movies. With 3 different girls. I ate Hearty Italian 2 times. I carried a 16kg chair from carrefour to home. Via the train. To NE14 Hougang. I also met Alex. He told me, "Come behind, i'm waiting". I'm straight.
thank you
Sentence Completion - borrowed from edna's blog.
i shall aim to finish it in 5 min time.
My ex is someone ... who survived cancer
Maybe I should ... stop this nonsense at once
I love ... soccer.
I don't understand ... maths.
I lose ... hair and leg hair every day
People say ... too much that means too little.
Love is ... something that you consume and which gives u a tummy upset sometimes.
Somewhere, someone ... is dying at this very moment.
"i will always love you" ... is not to be taken for real when said under the age of 23 and when under the influence of alcohol.
Forever ... ended yesterday
I never want ... to have another regret
I think the current US President ... has a lying face.
When I wake up in the morning ... I hit snooze.
My past ... has been a remarkable adventure of nothingness
I get annoyed ... by people who rush in when train doors open
Parties are for ... people who dun watch soccer on a saturday night
My dog is ... my future best friend
My cat ... no. i like dogs.
Kisses are the best ... when you know you'll be giving the same kisses 50 years down the road.
Tomorrow ... is wednesday
I really want ... to travel around the world
I have low tolerance for people ... who has bad breath and generally smells bad.
I exceed the time limit by 8 minutes. i'm no good at this.
I've posted my Johe Doe in Nicaragua question in my blog before, though I strangely can't find it in the archives quite some time later. So anyway, I posted the similar question again in Yahoo Answer, and I wonder what kinda answers i'll get.
You tell me..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christians told me, you either go to heaven or to hell. They also say, if you don't believe in god, you dun go to heaven, even if u do a u-turn at pearly gates.
consider this scenario:
"John Doe is borned in Nicaragua. He lived and died there and all his life he led a simple farmer life and didn't commit much sins. He is a good man without religious beliefs. There are no religion in Nicaragua. No christians have ever been there, hence there's no way that he can believe in something or someone that he never ever know exist.
He died and this st peters at pearly gates said John Doe didn't believe in this god who owned heaven. Hence John Doe didn't go to heaven, so he prolly went to hell.
There are 5 million John Does in Nicaragua. All went to hell thereafter."
is that right?
Today is a sad day.
Today I made a withdrawal of $50 from the ATM. I then kept the card and walked off without taking the money.
Horrific Soccer Injury: The Evils of Name-branding.
29th April 2006, England's star striker Wayne Rooney broke his foot 6 weeks before the world cup. Many put the blame on the new Nike boots he was wearing.
7th May 2006, local soccer sensation Tohle suffered an injury of a similar magnitude. Experts question the use of the Nike soccer ball.
Observe the seams of the ball carefully. Notice the intricate pattern.
The injury: spot anything strikingly similar?
The full extent of the penetrating blow.
The scrupulous things that a company will do to establish its brand-name. Had the ball spinned a couple inches more to the left, what would have been left behind on the arm will be a large nike tick of approval instead of the innocent looking seams.
Nike sucks.
On a sidenote, I got hit by the ball following a thunderous shot from Malau. This is not an act of defensive bravery. This is the unfortunate result of failing to get away from the ball in time. Even professional soccer players know better.
Remember when you were young, and human.
Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, to say the least, is a wonderful read. A view of humanity through innocent eyes, seeing not, the artificial barrier of class and discrimination. She wrote with simple words on issues that transcended through time, almost a century on now, and yet still relevant.
Relevant like clothes that we wear. Saw my fren in his t-shirt of the punk-music-label Atticus, and below it, a picture of a bird lying down, feet up. Certainly looks like the Atticus from To Kill a Mockingbird to me. I wonder how many punks wearing those shirts knows the underlying significance of what they wore.
Was sitting in my room. Turned my head and saw a nice gradient of orangey-pink. Photographer instinct in me made me walk to the door. And then.. Fwaaahhh Lan Ehhhhh
Saw the biggest/widest/longest huge ass rainbow i've ever seen in my life. 2 rainbows in fact, with another smaller one beside the huge ass rainbow.
It means that i'm gonna pass all my exams and get 2 As.
Dashed into the room to grab the camera, but it faded too fast into the setting sky. I looked down and across at people at the pavement and in the opposite block, and all seemed oblivious to the wonderful sight above.
I feel sorry for them.
During my army days, my platoon was once stationed at the Sembawang Wharves which has an American supermarket stocked with imports.
On a particular day, some of us went in to get drinks. One of my hokkien peng friend then bought a curvacious-looking bottle with the word 'coffee' on the label.
A while later, after taking a few sips, he showed it to us and said that his coffee seemed to have gone bad.
It turned out to be liquid Coffee-Mate.
As extracted from The Straight Dope.. full article here
"Bottom line: the number 666 has become associated with Satan in western culture, and appears that way in literature and film. Often this is explicit, in films like The Omen, but sometimes it's more subtle. According to Wikipedia:
In Clockwork Orange, two police officers are numbers 665 and 667.
In Pulp Fiction, the briefcase is opened by the code 666.
The opening of Andrew Lloyd Weber's musical Phantom of the Opera is an auction, where lot 666 is the famous chandelier.
And, of course, there was that joke list making the e-mail rounds a while back that included:
666 = number of the beast
665 = older brother of the beast
660 = approximate number of the beast
66600 = zip code of the beast
1/666 = common denominator of the beast
665.95 = retail price of the beast
and so forth.
SDSTAFF TUBADIVA ADDS
I am happy to tell you there's more:
660 = Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI = Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 = Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666 = Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 = Beast Common Denominator
(-666) ^ (1/2) = Imaginary number of the Beast
6.66 e3 = Floating point Beast
1010011010 = Binary of the Beast
6, uh . . . what was that number again? = Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 = Area code of the Beast
00666 = Zip code of the Beast
666mph = The speed limit of the Beast
$665.95 = Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 = Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 = Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 = Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 = Next week's Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 = Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 = Way of the Beast
666 F = Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k = Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg = Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % = 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
$666/hr = Beast's lawyer's billing rate
Lotus 6-6-6 = Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 = Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 = CPU of the Beast
665.9997856 = The Number of the Beast on a Pentium
666i = BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) = Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
1232 Octal, Apt. 29A = Beast's hexed address
668 = Next-door neighbor of the Beast
333 = The semi-Christ "
I love Straight Dope.
The customer service at the widely known electronic devices shop, Song Brothers, in particular the branch at Sim Lim Square, is something to talk about.
It is a national disgrace.
Some memories are best left forgotten
Stripped of feelings and aromas
Left with faces and a time from your life
Carefully packed into a locked closet
it's time at night that i hear
the sounds in day unclear
i see my thoughts and heart
circle my mind in strange depart
the time is march and autumn bows
to scattered brown leaves, so freshly downed
the yesterdays that were not too far
lingers on, the winds of the season past
i attended law school.
i attended Computer science school.
just sounds different isn't it?
the smart bastards doing law got enough brains to make even boring things sound cool.
What do you think we are here? Nerds? I'll google you.
It wasn't too long ago that computer people were the darlings of the industry, front liners of the nation's economy. Companies worship us. the SCE was the flag-bearer for NTU. At family gatherings those days, upon hearing that so and so are in the computer line, eyes will gleam and mouths open, "wah, big money next time".
Back to the present age, post internet boom, post the-bubble-burst-boom, post whatever-that-has-got-to-do-with-IT, it's a changed scenario. BIE, MSE, MAE, SBS, HSS, CoE, EEE, NIE, BME.. and the list goes on. Nobody knows what they stands for, or what they actually do. Aren't we computer people the reigning champion of important sounding acronyms? got beaten flat on this.
"Hi, i'm from SCE." "Huh, what's that?" "School of Computer Engineering." "oh.. urmmm.." you hear the longest urmm her breath could hold. no interesting comments relating to SCE could possibly be thought of. awkward silence. she pretends to checks the handphone that refuses to ring. after 5 min, conversation rescuer me says: "yeah it sucks." I can't tell whether it was the look of bemusement or sympathy on their faces.
SCE seems to have slided to the backseat among the many new schools of NTU. Where we were once the star striker, we now slump sadly as the benchwarmer. Block N4 gets none of the impressed looks when freshies check out the entire school compound.
Vending machine that dispenses 20cents cuppucino. spanking new lifts that talks. state of the art photograhy lab with loanable professional cameras. new dedicated library. exclusive reading rooms and resource library for exclusive students. vending machines that perpetually dispenses hot water with creamer when u clearly pressed "COffee with sugar and coffeemate. 50cents". "Lift under repair". "Water-cooler under repair". "Programming Languages. New Edition. Published 1982". benches infested with termites. Creaky roller chairs with coffee stains and patched cushion.
dimmer students may not know for sure where each said item is located. but one can tell for sure where the 300 Herman Miller Aeron designer chairs worth $660,000 DID NOT end up.
Customizable timetables. 4 days week. 3 days week. Plenty of pick-whatever-you-want-just-have-fun GEs. THose bunch of slackers. We computer people are too hardworking for that. The ultimate insult is when people dun believe that SCE students have the heaviest workload and failure rate. Such audacity and ignorance. 4AUs for a subject doesn't equate to 4hrs of lessons here. Instead, it's 4AUs for 3 lects, 1 tutorial and a bonus 2hr lab that normally takes at least double of that time to be completed. Making every cents of our school fees count.
Wonderful life and recognition here.
Back at the recent family gathering. Typical formality goes as usual, "still studying ah?" "yeah, at NTU." "oh.. studying what?" "uh.. computer stuff" "Computer ahh??.. aiyah", the head shakes and eyebrow frowns, "Cannot already la.." The uncle prophetically announce. The one whose eyes once gleamed, years ago.
Suddenly down with severe flu. Fluids exiting my body at an alarming rate
i feel feeble.
And my stupid technical report writing project group is making it worst.
the report is screwed.
the one whom i initially suspect can think, can't write. disgustingly atrocious english. Spent one whole night rewriting his parts. only for him to edit my editings in his own language the next day.
the one who can passably write, can't think. every single shit is out of point.
the one who can think and write, didn't think nor write.
that leaves the sick one to write and edit and re-edit and re-re-edit everything. and get even sicker.
told them to use the proper APA style of referencing.
sent them the APA style guide.
reminded them to use the APA style.
re-sent them the APA style guide.
told them to use the APA style AGAIN.
Strongly emphasized that the course work takes a hefty 50%.
and the bloody APA referencing still ended up all wrong.
I can scarcely believe that such is the level of NTU under-grads, not some buy-your-degree-in-one-year university mind you.
Of coz not.
What were I thinking of?
Of coz i'm always right.
must have been schizo-ing last nite.
will i look back one day and realise that i'm the most foolish person ever? could that one day be tomorrow?
i will laugh at myself.
donated blood today. possibly the only positive event of the week.
tired. burnt out. tons of shit to do.
sunday soccer fracas continues. fucking shit.
drifting away from tide to tide
adrift, submerged, awashed
can't think of anything now. i'm dry
and i've lost something more than friendship, a few times over.
prevailing silences of days thru night.
i miss you, cow.
and the smiles that you put on my face
flipping a coin is 50/50
rolling a dice is 1/6
praying for something gives a similar probability whereby u declare your own denominator.
your prayer coming true does not mean that god answers. it's merely probability turning in your favour.
unanswered prayers does not mean that it's god's will. it's just what it is. that's life, and tough shit.
is it bringing sense to you yet?
"Somewhere inside all this intransigence, there has to be a prayer for peace"
-Steven Spielberg
Munich. Great film. Great tragedy. Great cinematography. Greatfuls? Grateful. and Great fools. Like many have already said, this is spielberg's best film since Saving Private Ryan, and perhaps his most important one ever.
164 mins long, and I didn't feel a minute of it.
And one off the list.
What makes a terrorist? An overwhelming belief in something? What makes a deeply religious christian or muslim or whatever? An overwhelming belief in something too.
A terrorist and a religious non-terrorist. Both have the same level of belief in what they believe in. You find a terrorist's beliefs naive. The religious non-terrorist knows that his god or the equivalent will somehow save the day, gives salvation. Isn't that naive too? If not, how would you know that the terrorist's beliefs are lesser than the religious person's.
My religious friend says she can feel her god's voice talking to her, telling her that everything is planned for. A terrorist says he can hear his god's voice in his head, telling him to declare holy war. What is there to say whose god is correct? Is your god actually doing anything?
If a spark ignite, will your belief makes you a potential terrorist? Think. Then think again.
In my simplistic and humble opinion, religions contribute nothing to world peace.
Five billion people can pray together for world peace and nothing will happen.
I don't enjoy watching soccer in the same room with strangers, for it really gets on my nerves when these so called 'fans' keep blabbering on stuff that they know shit about. And if you can't have an opinion that's not read from somewhere else, i think you really should just keep your mouth shut.
Example of a groundless statement: "What is Benitez doing? He's playing a midfielder in the left-back position!!" - felt like slapping him, and double the slap if he have the cheek to call himself a liverpool fan. John Arne Riise IS a leftback first and foremost.
Example II: "Sissoko is crap. Why was Hamann sub-ed in for Alonso instead? Now they got two who can't play a pass." - Sissoko had a great game, if the idiot is too blind to realise. Alonso was and had been off-form for the past 3 matches. And without Hamann, there wouldn't have been no European Cup no. 5.
And ladies.. just because you've once watched a game whereby a particular team won, it doesn't give you the right to call yourself a FAN of that team, especially if you can't name or recognise anyone from the team.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been a long journey, the two of us. We've had our fair share of ups and downs throughout the years. Sometimes, there were drab affairs, but more often than not, there were sweet sweats of so many passionate nights. Tender and faithful adoration i have for you, though i beg your forgiveness for the occasional clenched fists and shoutings. Day after day I long to see you my love, however far apart we may be. I swear to always cherish you, and to love you for many and many a year to come..
Happy Valentine's Day, Liverpool FC.
As is ever so often, we understand life,
only on the brink of death.
John Doe [1981 - still kicking]
feeling vaulted at home. caged in the heart. like lens without light. words without a voice. feel it. can't get it out. unwritten memories of tomorrow. hold a pen. its hollow content. write black on black. nothing can be read. empty brackets. fill in my blanks. in search of bliss. saw but not seen. felt but not held. to look yonder. hiding sunrise. shielding moon light. across the road. the meadows green. and cow grazes. shadows in flight. see me running. yet out of reach.
lost. shall i stop what i find bliss in?
i remember this familiar feeling clearly
nice, but just not.
suddenly, knee pain.
evening of flitting joy was it
or was it only i that hope
as, down the riverbank we walk
you seemed, lost in your thoughts
over your heart, a patch of
sombre clouds
is it beautiful still
that sunset in your eyes, colored
in black and silent white
Robbie Fowler returns to Liverpool.
Couldn't believe it when i saw it on the Liverpool website. Read it three times. I really even asked myself whether it's April Fool's day.
Our prodigal son is back. A little older, a little fatter, a little slower, but still revered.
I feel sapped of energy. The mind doesn't seem to be functioning properly lately.
Software bitching: Mozilla Firefox is seriously slower than Internet Explorer. Tabbed browsing please, microsoft. stupid dinosaur.
Food bitching: I can't remember the last time i finished a loaf of bread that i bought in hall. This current loaf has got 9 slices left and expires in 2 days' time. However I'm going home tomorrow morning. So if i were to not waste the bread, I'll have to stuff myself with it and nutella over the next 12 hours.
Laundry bitching: Laundry is a bitch.
Narcisstic bitching: I signed up for an account at livejournal.com just so that i can post photos at their sg_snapshots community site. It's a decent photo-whoring site. Put a nice photo there and nice members will post polite comments like "wow", "ooohhhhhh", "nice shots". I like the thrill of receiving comments on my photos, and it secretly puts a smirk on my face when no one's looking.
School bitching: Buried up to my tits with schoolwork, if i have a pair of them to begin with. sometimes i wonder if i should really squeeze everything into 3 years.
CNY bitching: visiting of relatives!! the ultimate bitch. in need of salvation.
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  6.8 |
| Mind: | 7.3 |
| Body: |  8.8 |
| Spirit: |  8 |
| Friends/Family: |  3.8 |
| Love: |  2.9 |
| Finance: |  4.8 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
Shadows hover dark and cold
Shadows grim and haunting me
Not the pebbles I once tread
Now it's stones with jagged edge
Each step i walk cast in black
taste the numbness sole to soul
shadows block the lights ahead
over my footprints, i trip
From Ikai and Steinhaus, "Some Factors Modifying the Expression of Human Strength," Journal of Applied Physiology, 1961, we learn the following: "The maximal pull of forearm flexors was increased and, in some instances, decreased in predictable fashion by a loud noise, by the subject's own outcry, by certain pharmacologic agents (alcohol, adrenaline, and amphetamine), and by hypnosis. Significant average changes ranging from +26.5% to 31% were observed." The authors suggest that the normal human inability to exert oneself to one's physiological maximum is the result of "acquired inhibitions that in turn are subject to disinhibition by pure Pavlovian procedures, by anesthetization of inhibitory mechanisms, or by pharmacologically induced symptoms serving as stimuli for disinhibition." In other words, you're always capable of great feats; it just takes a crisis for you to actually perform them.
Yesterday,
Run in the chill of the night
Feeling cold air brush my breast
Dancing past streetlights
I watch my shadows in flight
first foray since the dec 4th marathon,
It felt terribly good.
I like to run at night, amidst the cold and silence. Talk to your own breathing, feeling nothing but yourself.
Sunday, I cut my own hair again. Haven't done that for a while. I think it's good.
Third entry for tonight.. I'm so full of myself.
If we really want to live,
we'd better start at once to try;
If we don't, it doesn't matter,
but we'd better start to die.
- W.H. Auden
You see things, and ask: Why?
But I dream things that never were,
and ask: Why not?
- Bernard Shaw
This chap bernard.. he sounds like me. Copycat.
Any seasoned, self-respecting TCS artists should by now have another couple notches in their CV, that of charity fund raiser and circus extraordinaire. You aren't there yet till u've perform some circus tricks all in the name of charity, at least 3 times a year.
Seriously, aren't we sick of it yet? The first charity fund raiser was a novelty, the second, improved and the third perhaps still acceptable. And then we suddenly seem to have one such show every month, a frequency which to me, borders on the ridiculous.
I honestly dun see why I should donate money just because some artists are doing monkey business on egg shells and florescent tubes or playing tennis atop moving vehicles. so dumb.
And in view of the NKF saga, thank you durai for the golden tap, I'm glad I didn't call in to donate money. How much did President Nathan donated each time I wonder. He's a permanent fixture on such shows these days. And the amount of time and money the TV pple put in for each charity show, it probably explains the consistent, non-stop, crap-like quality of local drama series and various tv productions, sans PCK.
I once signed up for a vacation job where the nature of it wasn't revealed till the actual day itself. I later realised that it involves the selling of donation tickets in public area, where each naive seller would be under the control of a 'manager' who sits around while the charges go about hawker canters trying to sell the tickets. The manager do nothing yet gets a huge cut out of each seller's sale, ala MLM fashion. Out of every dollar donated, only 20cents goes to the charity. 20cents, that's what the company claims. Who knows? I walked off the job.
I don't donate money, not via phone, nor to the bored school children holding donation cans every week plaguing the bus interchanges. You never know what happens to the money.
Instead, I suggest to all, why not donate blood? You save lives with your blood.. try topping that. Instead of feeding your money to hidden leeches, you know that they can't really misuse your donation for personal gains. And what if, you're the one who needs a blood transfusion one day and your doc tells you, "Sorry, out of stock."
I striked blood donation off my list of Things To Do Before I Die about half a year ago, during a blood-raising drive in school.
1. It didn't take long. much less than an hour.
2. There were big needles.
3. But they didn't hurt at all, with some local anesthetic.
4. It really didn't hurt, except for a little prick on the finger during the blood test.
4. I didn't see anyone feeling weak or faint after that.
5. You get a free blood test.
7. Only 450ml of blood is drawn
8. That 450ml will be replaced by your body in 72 hours. So you effectively donated without losing anything.
9. Think about it.. you get new blood.
10. Women form only 30% of blood donors. Now you know who the big hearted ones are.
11. I walked out feeling proud of myself.
12. Going for my 2nd donation this month.
13. New entry on my list of Things To Do Before I Die. Donate blood every year.
d o n a t e b l o o d
weak day.
fainted in toilet last nite.
what an experience.
played inter-hall scrabble the whole day with headache n fever.
scrabbled twice. I rock.
I'm still alive. Yay.
My stubborn chest pain persist on one week after it started, though it has since been diagnosed as some muscle problem. I'm still yearning for that one satisfactory sneeze. Now each clearing of the nasal passage is suffixed with an agonizing cry coupled with that look of pain on the face, sound and effect hardly endearing me to whoever could be around.
Currently feeling sickish. The head last night engaged in a lazy spin once the endorphins from Liverpool's 1-0 victory over the Baggies had died down. Feverish now. What next?
Oh and the right eye's tearing too, a few drops more than usual. Most irritating.
Not the most auspicious start to the new year one would have liked.
