The why to my heart

have i forgotten how it felt to feel
my love, the feeling once so strong of sweet sorrow
it was everywhere, the words i wrote, the tears i laid,
the joy you gave.
it was there, i know. And remembered it clearly, before i lost you.
mi_lanel, budding rose of my formative years,
of you, my decade of decadence


Years of wilderness (fallen)


Then from nowhere it came back again, so strange, so swift.
Feli they call her. Pebbles, as she was known to me.
She called, I answered, we talked, and fell.
Fell into that familiar feeling I used to dread,
of fearing that tomorrow will arrive without her in it.
That was a love that was wrong, yet so perfect.
For surely, good things don't come so fast and sudden,
took my breath away.
And they don't.
She left, and i could not comprehend,
the perfect stranger that we became.
nor the joke that heaven made of me.


days of derelict.


Strength came upon me one day,
I know not how.
I put you away, in my
locked closet of memories.
Along with the book of us,
words and images i carefully kept,
the final chapter that i wrote for you.

I wasn't sad, suddenly.
Like i leashed my heart to a heavy rock,
the equi-weight of you in my heart,
and heaved it overboard
into a sea unknown.

Down without a splash,
no last words of condolences.
Numb, but for that occasional spray
of fine mist from yesterdays.


Forgotten.


So forgive me, forgive me
this life void of passion
dead avenues that gently ambles along
to great plains of emptiness