The Reader

Superb.
Walked out of the cinema feeling peaceful for once in a series of sleepless nights.


and she,
was mere an arm away.

.


i need the quiet of a midnight charm.

my new bitch.

wah lau eh..

so nervous, i nearly dropped the lens while trying it at the shop.

okie zhiyong, i'm nearly ready.

oh bother

Words from an old friend, once good, now mere acquaintance, somehow managed to stick themselves into my mind for some time since.

Don't trouble trouble.

i used not to make much sense out of it, or to take much heed, but these days they drift back in the form of voices in the head, in their own good time and good health.

But i did not!! trouble trouble that is; largely peaceful and quietly contemplative men don't. Rather, trouble troubles me, taking all the initiatives and without me lifting a finger at times, to the extent that my allocated quota for piss taking for the next 3 years has since been expended in putting out the arson jobs in me. and i would like to not give too much of a damn hence on.

.

on an entirely separate note, dinner with peiyi and jacq was good today. i ate parts of a cow.

taking check

the year so far, sucks.

sick for the whole of the week, flu, cough, sorethroat, the whole lot. terrible time handling the mother sometimes, burnt out from putting up with things. and more things. the whole house painting affair was taxing, even though painting only starts tomorrow. buying a sofa was like fighting an expensive war. more shit at work. potentially no pay increment for the year. months on, right wrist seems permanently damaged from the stupid accident, as are my ankle and knee even though i haven't been running. can i still run? losing my new slippers en route to cambodia. lost count of the number of times i fell asleep this week with the lights on and burning the whole night, searing through the tatters of my dreams. january has been a warzone, a state of emergency. every step that i took vulnerable to igniting a land mine and i inevitably set off quite a few, so much so that at times i didn't feel like moving, or talking. silence was my safety net.
.

far too much unhappiness in the whole of my life. they sneak up on you, deal you a blow and scamper off into crevices unseen. sometimes you dun even know what wrong you have done - there might not be any - it's just fate's way of telling you that you're no more than a flick of snort.

i'd like to, for once, be happy this year, or more precisely, the remaining of this year.

fuck fate and all that shit.

atrocious

overheard on the train earlier on from two co-workers who boarded and sat together:
chinese man: i want to apologise for laughing at your hair yesterday.
ah neh: okie
chinese man: see now my hair is also dropping
ah neh: uh
chinese man: i know i laughed at your hair but it's not on purpose. sorry huh.
ah neh then alighted.
.

aside to that, too many people are oblivious to their own atrocities in this screwed up world. and i hate the fact that my holiday is coming to an end in this damn manner.

ill contented

it's friggin 4.30am but i dun wanna sleep. i'll quit my job and be a night-watchman instead and a bloody good one at that.

screw it all.

oh cambodia.

The air tickets to Laos were too complicated and expensive to obtain at the short notice, so i settled for the next best thing and find myself in cambodia yet again today, barely two days later.

Entered from Phnom Penh and hooked up with a bus to Siem Reap. Hitting the temples trail early tomorrow morning and to more obscure places on sunday. From that brief impression that I had of PP, it looks boring and shall leave it till the final day before i fly back next week. which means more of siem reap and wherever else that i decide to go.

a year on, siem reap seems to have fallen more deeply into the clutches of the tourism vices. walking alone down the streets, tuktuk and moto drivers bugs me at every kerb and the phrase "tuktuk, massage, girl" is fast becoming familiar.

And no i'm not a japanese. i just have a nice goatee.

AMok Party Goes Tripping

i laughed till i doubled over in pain, breathless, and wiped off the gay tears that were squeezed out by powerful forces within. Over nothing much in actual fact. But oh how we enthused over the absurdity of our trip and the great planning that was wrapped up in ten minutes, much of which was spent debating whether we should leave at 6 or 6.30am, or how much to bribe the polis man when we get pulled over for speeding. We picked our to-go places like we're ordering dishes off the ala-carte menu: we must find the eunauch Zheng He's memorial, and this is getting extinct, must eat, and this, this and this, and we should throw in a church. Though we'll prolly just end up watching footie over the whole weekend in Malacca.

Wiped out the remaining of the evening with an impromptu darts and table soccer and bowling session which leaves me with half an hour to pack before i hit the sack and get my ass to work in 6 hours time.

15 years and counting. AMok Party Rocks

oh thanks for that

to say that i'm selfish, coming from you, is plain ridiculous.

you are nobody to judge me.

maybe next time.

i know i know, for the 257th night in a row i'm supposed to be in bed but i'm not because i spent the whole night looking at ten thousand weddings photos. not because marital bliss are in the books but for a tricky decision that i've got to make.

im very honored to be asked but no.. having seen the best, the terribly lousy that destroys marriages and the average, i'd have to decline and refrain from jumping into the stream of mediocrity for now till i learn to take better photos.

okie okie not so drama. it's just ROM but still i dun wanna be remembered as the guy who took shitty photos at their fateful ceremony.

pulpy head

i wanna lie down and just crash on the bed with nothing but the covers over me and the fan blowing like winter's call, to lay to rest the demons in my head who day by day gain in weight like marmalade. then i got jumped by the cockroach taunting me hence i lay in wait not in bed but like a bait, waiting for the cockroach to crawl out from behind the cupboard so that i can smash it to a pulp and jeer at what the thing formerly known as a head.

unbelievably tired. of more than work.
where are we going, all decked in black and white?

pardon me, good play

what good news i have
liverpool 4, oxford 1
two was offside and one own goal
the unsuspecting young lad
wrote himself deep into the anal of history,
so many years ago.

judging by that
brilliant hindsight
who wouldn't know,
what i couldn't have known.
.

the cow with the silent bell
oh sweet brown cow
she waves with her tail
down the foggy hill
dainty steps, unsoiled hooves like twinkle toes
lest the shepherd comes to know
but silly boy he, lifts his cameo lids
what sallow eyes oh nonchalance
he chooses the brutal twilight glow

while you were gone

the day which started badly ended in the worst possible way.

mum had a breakdown at work.

.

the cow with a silent bell grazes afar,
while quiet shepherd waits.

i'm tired too.

while i ponder

i stubbed my right knee yesterday and later in the evening when i tried to lock it i nearly buckle over in pain. i hope it's minor. which isn't the case for the wrists. something's still pretty wrong there after 3 weeks.

.

 

someone else asked again if i ever get angry, or how i'll look when i'm angry, something to that effect.

fact is, of course i do, if you matter enough to me, just that the number of 'yous' remain far and few.

and whether the person in question sees it is another thing.

.

 

everyday i wonder if the tomorrows will still be there when we wake up.

sentences.

it's been feeling like a lousy week, a tree without rustling nor fallen leaves; strangely detached.

.

[Rec] was fuckin scary. i pretended to check my phone at the scary scenes. or maybe i wasn't pretending.

Only after the movie did it dawn on me that despite the 50% off, i've still managed to spend a bomb. that was fuckin scary too.

.
i can't tell you how tired i am.

27th Oct is for Titi Camara

Firstly, do not laugh or make lewd jokes about his first name.

This is for Titi Camara, a Liverpool player who i fondly remember, short-lived his Red career was. He's the kind of player we fans cry out for, who put a smile on the face of football.

I came across this writeup of him and that probably summed up the story and what most of us Liverpudlians felt
http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/blog/?p=118

and in another youtube clip that i've just watched, he's also the crazy footballer who wore two jerseys together in a game just so that he can pull one off and throw it to the fans after scoring and still have one left for the remaining of the game.

Titi we love you!!!

27th Oct also happens to be the sister's birthday, but that's not nearly as important.

Scraplife

A weekend

Friday. The Vagina Monologues with Zhuominish Darling. I won't do that V for peace-out sign again when having my photos taken, because V is for cheebye is for cootchie-hootch is for pukimat is for you know what. Monologues was pretty good and enlightening and sexy and even gory. Friday. Couldn't find real food around bugis. Pigged out heavily at 85 market instead. Saturday. hassled into meeting financial planner. Saturday. Donated blood again at the mobile blood drive. I wish more people will donate blood. Saturday. Diarrhea. At the end of my blood donation. Blood got distracted and slowed to a trickle while the shit was fast coming. it was agonising. Saturday. bought dinner for zm who was down with the shits too. Sunday. Soccer. Loss of blood and lots of shit couldn't keep soccer away. Not from me. Sunday. Attempted a trick with the ball. Supposed to skillfully giap the bouncing ball between my legs and do a samba dance. Managed to end up with ball under feet and fell backwards. Sprained right wrist. Sunday. Loss of blood and lots of shit and a sprained wrist couldn't keep soccer away. Not from me. Continued playing. Sunday. Headed for the Arts Singapore Exhibition. Interesting stuff. Wish I had taken arts classes more seriously when I was younger. Monday. MC for the wrist. I is Singapore's last action hero, after the venerable VR Man.

guess something

the brightest stars in your eyes
couldn't show the darkest skies in mine,
nor the fool behind.

what am i?

yellowed rambles

many many time ago, I actually attended the National Day Preview at the invitation of Peiyi.

graduation monkeying
and two trees