away

run and running ran away,
to where sorrow wept and lay,

and away

run.
away now, run away.
now run, away.
run away now.
run.

By the river, east of the world.

you know you've given it a good shot when mucus and sweat fights swipe for swipe to the the beat of your footsteps. i enjoyed looking at the shadows of my revolving legs as i glided unchallenged down the 3 lane road. fucking sexy i would think, sans the topless torso glimmering under voyeuring streetlights.

lovely lungs i've got. that's my hidden charm. hello ladies?

1 more month to another marathon. today i foraged to the outer realms of Punggol, slightly beyond sengkang east drive where the world ends, and back. took me only about 50 minutes. picked up two liters of soya bean milk on the way back.

i've got to pay my bills now. and sleep.

this is an attempt on a return to normalcy?

The heaviest heart.

Friday

I spent today with a heavy heart. Much heavier than usual. Every breathe that i take weigh a ton, slowly sinking in searching for the bottomless pit, refusing to rise. A heavy heart. It's no metaphor, I now know.

I walked round and round today hoping that you'll turn up in front of me somehow, so that I can pass you my little handicraft. After hours, i felt irritated with myself. fucking dumbass. As if a card will change anything, it's not even pretty.

Then quietly, you were gone.

.

If this is heaven's idea of a joke, it has gone on way too far. The brother in quiet grieving, and the sister's wedding is tomorrow. Smiling faces everywhere. Will I look inconspicuous beside the pillar? Somehow I must contain these gloomy days of my life and learn to smile for a day, for the day of her life. I've hardly helped out much with her wedding stuff and I've no idea what's going on tomorrow. I haven't been a good brother or son. Or anything.

I was hoping to bring you to the wedding. You know..

Have to wake up really early later. 7am. My eyes usually can't close at this time. I forced myself to go for a run just now, hoping that it'll tire me out enough to sleep early. And run off the heavy heart, running makes one feel lighter. But it didn't work. 25m 11s. I'm surprised I lasted that long. Lie down and hope for the best.

The last time I smiled was on thursday midnight thereabout, at you. The last time I heard genuine laughters from my voice.. there was no last time. Been way too long.

Run 5

Run 5 - 29th August, Wednesday
Time - 1:03:20
Distance - 10km
Route - Serangoon Park Connector
Picked up - none

River was at a low tide.

The lungs are still not quite into it. The legs are limbering up. The will power was activated today when there was a hint of betrayal from the lungs. Chalked up a lengthier distance.

My formerly torn ankle ligament is recently feeling sore after soccer every sunday.. let's hope it will hold up.

Run 4

Run 4 - 22nd August
Time - 41:56
Distance - about 6.4km
Route - Serangoon Park Connector
Picked up - stiff thigh muscles - not quite recovered from sunday soccer

Today I affirmed that there are plenty of fishes in the river, and it's Sungei Serangoon rather than Sungei Punggol as I thought it was previously. Man.. they just keep splashing up on the water surface to feed or something. I told tham about it. maybe we'll go fishing there soon.

But of coz it was also where I encountered the python incident. So I make some good out of my not-very-constructive sober time at home and watched a few snake related documentaries on NatGeo and Animal Planet. No prob. I'll catch one home next time.

Today I made a mental note to remember the distance of the track's length. 2.2km. to simulate the marathon's 42km i'd simply have to run up and down the place 19 times.

Anyway, this year's will be a much more serious event than my past 2 marathons. I even told Zijing that I wanna run alone this time. No more exams to get in the way, no work commitments for now at least, so it's time to test my limits while there is still something testable. I mean if i'm 80 years old and i say i wanna test my limits, i'd prolly just walk around the park twice and try to give myself a pat on the back.

Run 3

Run 3 - 16th August
Time - 33:46
Distance - unknown
Route - Serangoon Park Connector
Picked up - nothing

Moodless to run, started with a bit of stiches, but managed to run it off. Quite alright in the end.

This is one of the days when i run with an empty head, not a thought in my mind.

Keep hearing splashes from the river as I run, like fishes jumping in and out of the water. Couldn't make out what it was in the dark though. No one else seemed to pay any attention to the sound. Maybe there are dolphins in that murky water. Dolphins following me. Yup.

Run '07 - 2

On yet another of my hare-brained ideas, i shall document down my training runs en route to the Singapore Marathon on 2nd Dec 2007. Along the way, there will prolly be many days where there will be absolutely nothing to write about, but hopefully it can help bring more discipline into the runs nonetheless.

Run 2 - 12th August
Time - 34:12
Distance - unknown
Route - Serangoon Park Connector
Picked up - Tightness in right thigh

Minutes into my run, the sight of my threatening runner's frame blazing down the footpath at a lightning speed scared the shit out of a cyclist and he fell off his bike.

This is the first time I'm running along the park connector in daylight. I usually run there in the middle of the night in the past, and on one such run, I encountered a road accident and after which I nearly stepped on a huge python lying in the middle of the pavement next to the canal.

In the warm fading light on this early evening, I realised that it is quite a nice place to run at. I used to call it a canal, since it does connect to canals around the area, but today it appeared more like the proper river that it should be, called Sungei Punggol. Lots of people fishing from the river which I can only imagine to be fertile with fishes of some sort, especially with various species of birds preying from the same river.

I'm hungry now. off to dig out some food.

To run

Just as I'm about to run, a freak shower started to unleash in the perfect sunny weather. Damn it really.

I've got to kick start my running regime before it's too late again.. less than 4 months left to the big day. Completed a short 20min run without any ill effects some days back. Planned to do 30 to 40min today, if the knees and ankle can hold up.

Now if only the damn rain will stop.. Soccer is gonna start in another hour..

Singapore Marathon 2006

My second marathon was completed at around noon of 3rd December 2006, almost 6hours after we started.

We ran so long, my safety pins turned rusty.

But once again we finished it together.

Despite last year's experience, preparation for this year's event was far from ideal. The furthest distance I ran before that was only 13km. Exams, the perennial cow, got in the way I would say, plus a period of lay off due to the niggling groin strain that brought back unkind memories 12 months and 42km ago.

But nothing's gonna stop us from finishing of course.

The night before, I surprisingly got held up at Alex's surprise birthday celebrations at loof. Nice place by the way. Didn't even bother to bath when I got home and slept straightaway for barely 2 hours to wake up at around 4am.

Was supposed to catch the 4.30am bus. Kinda late. So before the marathon even started, I ran all the way from home to Hougang stadium. By the time I sat down in the bus, my legs had gone stiff. Not the smartest thing to do afterall.

Minutes before the race started, I realised I was still holding on to my damn house keys. In a fit of inspiration and bravery, I left the keys on a 2m high ledge right outside Esplanade and hoped for the best.

We set a target speed of 8km/hr and stuck to it surprisingly well for the first 3 hours, till we hit East Coast Park, where it went upslope from then on. When we finally exit from ECP with more than 8km to go, Zijing could barely walk while i nearly got consumed by cramps. From then on, our run/walk routine turned to a walkathon of agony.

We spotted Toh Kit Mien, the baffling puzzle of last year's. Then we identified another girl displaying similar walking phenomenal, whom I labelled Kit-2.

Then it dawned upon us that despite it being a marathon, the truth for majority of the runners is such that, the key to finishing with a good timing is not how fast you can run but rather,
(1) how long you can avoid muscular atrophy - pains and strains and cramps
(2) how fast you can walk

The importance of brisk walking cannot be under-estimated. It shall be part of our training regime for next year's marathon. Sissy butts-wriggling-legs-crossing-hips-twisting, here we come.

A lot of people took part this year, more than I would like. Instead of the marathon being the ultimate race for hard-core runners, more and more people are taking it as a fashion statement, albeit a tedious one where success is not guaranteed. A line should be drawn somewhere, in my opinion.

In any case, the finishing line is sweet and all pain were briefly dismissed for that last 0.195km.

After that however, fulfillment got churned into disappointment. The finisher's tee and medal looked no different from last year's, clearly a lack of effort on adidas and the organizer's part. We didn't get our ordered sizes, and later, the tops went out of stock altogether. An ugly blemish to what would have been a successful event otherwise.

Finally, something else that frequently gets on my nerves.. For all the bimbos and dimwits out there, when someone says he's running the marathon, please stop asking how far he's running, or which marathon he's taking part in, if held in Singapore.

If it's not 42km it's not a marathon, and there is but one, by Standard Chartered, for Singapore.

afterwords:
oh, and i retrieved my keys successfuly from the ledge at the end.

We had brunch at the HK cafe (cha chan ting) outside of Marina Square and it suck horribly.

Next year will be faster.