This nondescript - so nondescript all the images are gone - blog is going ten years old. Which ought to make me the grand daddy of bloggers and I should be rolling about in a pool of ad money now. But I'm not. Because I don't have a pool of money. And funny how blogger.com still doesn't recognise the words 'blog' and 'bloggers' as a proper word.
I will now add a random picture here. i wonder how it will look like.
reading through the biographies and browsing through the photos of a few local photographers, i feel as if i've just started out in primany 1.
each annual attempt to validate my own work leaves me searching, and wondering.. what work?
i am not yet a photographer. i am just a dude with a camera.
Chanced upon a documentary about the white house photographer Pete Souza while bumming at home today.. and it inspired me. he captured some great moments.
http://www.petesouza.com/index.html
the more you show, the lesser you are.
my deficiencies are glaringly highlighted each time i find works that i admire for hours on end. still not good enough. no where near in fact.
there will come a time when you find yourself opening up and awakening to another level. but not long after will you realise that you have in reality, and in the harshness of truth, barely progressed from where you originally stood.
hollow.
very hollow.
and i know this feeling only too well.
really need a change, in all aspects.
funnie how things all come together sometimes.
suddenly received three different wedding photographer requests tonight; from zhiyong's sis-in-law joanne, iris - for her AD, and an overseas (!!) invite for diana's cousin's wedding in Kuching, Sarawak.
the words made me blush... shall allow my ego to float around for tonight.
I accepted iris' but humbly and regretfully declined the other two, honored as i am. i still feel bad for turning down yewjin some time ago too, but wedding dinners isn't really my cup of tea and not something i'm confident about. better not.
this one made me feel pro.. ahahah. and make me look forward to getting retrenched so that i have an inexcusable reason to do photography full time. hmmmm.
i'm feeling a lil sick today and yesterday though. zzz
I was strangely honored by the admiration of my framed up photo by a cleaning auntie at the foodcourt yesterday.
While forcing the horrible char siew rice into my mouth, she puzzlingly came over to my table - there were no dirty utensils to clear - though if she had asked for my half empty plate I would have gladly surrendered it.
She tilted her head left and right at the large photo frame on the chair before finally asking if I had shot or painted or bought it - before showering me with great gusto of admirations at my finely taken piece of art.
Sell you for $80 ah auntie.
wah lau eh
crybaby
those michelin baby arms
those strong fingers. i'll train her to pose with the tv remote next
already showing signs of being a world class couch potato
rolling good time in the crib
Sorry for the long wait, I'm still working on it old friend.
Dun worry, everything should be out by the time you have your wedding dinner.. haha.
One up for the newly weds.
Sorrie bro, didn't have enough time on hand.
and i'm off, till 12th April.
bye folks
it is at moments after i have dreamed
it is at moments after i have dreamed
of the rare entertainment of your eyes,
when (being fool to fancy) i have deemed
with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;
at moments when the glassy darkness holds
the genuine apparition of your smile
(it was through tears always)and silence moulds
such strangeness as was mine a little while;
moments when my once more illustrious arms
are filled with fascination, when my breast
wears the intolerant brightness of your charms:
one pierced moment whiter than the rest
-turning from the tremendous lie of sleep
i watch the roses of the day grow deep.
i really like ee cummings' poems.
i had strange dreams this morning too. the family took a plane out for a holiday, which is rare enough by itself. upon exit, we found ourselves somewhere in america. we dashed across a busy road and at the entrance of a mall, we realised that it wasn't cold at all and pulled off the jackets that we were wearing. we hailed a passing cab and the driver was malay.
.
we had fun in taman negara.
ended on a happy note.
wah lau eh..
so nervous, i nearly dropped the lens while trying it at the shop.
okie zhiyong, i'm nearly ready.
i know i know, for the 257th night in a row i'm supposed to be in bed but i'm not because i spent the whole night looking at ten thousand weddings photos. not because marital bliss are in the books but for a tricky decision that i've got to make.
im very honored to be asked but no.. having seen the best, the terribly lousy that destroys marriages and the average, i'd have to decline and refrain from jumping into the stream of mediocrity for now till i learn to take better photos.
okie okie not so drama. it's just ROM but still i dun wanna be remembered as the guy who took shitty photos at their fateful ceremony.
i wanna lie down and just crash on the bed with nothing but the covers over me and the fan blowing like winter's call, to lay to rest the demons in my head who day by day gain in weight like marmalade. then i got jumped by the cockroach taunting me hence i lay in wait not in bed but like a bait, waiting for the cockroach to crawl out from behind the cupboard so that i can smash it to a pulp and jeer at what the thing formerly known as a head.
unbelievably tired. of more than work.
where are we going, all decked in black and white?
