silently now

this shouldn't be written.
but there are things that i dun wanna forget.
should you really need me one day,
i think, i'll still be here.


my dear dumdum,

i thought i'm fine and recovering. but talking to you brings back a torrent of memories. i felt the way i was feeling at my lowest point, i cried like i did all those months back. you haven't really left me at all. and that's why i can't talk to you. forgive me, forget me. you've made up your mind to leave, then just go and don't turn back. if you're truly and happily loving someone else, then you wouldn't have room nor need for me. you don't want to lose me completely, but i can't bear to lose you at all. i still find it so easy to say all the words that i couldn't say in the past: i love you and i miss you, and this pseudo life that i'm living now, is but a poor substitute for you.

hugs and silently now, goodbye.
your dumbass.


so shoo now,
my silent hugs
and your buried tears
the quiet kisses
you didn't know you had
under the blanket of your breaths
you lay awaiting
till sleep came
and took you away
still i leaned close
a whisper and a touch
too deep into your dreams
still whispering
when it's too late for words,
just silently now