it is morning and i am awake.

everyday there will be a time when i drift off into an abyss where distance is abstract and all that others could make out is the gaze of emptiness in my eyes.

this is the moment of all moments where i wonder in endless wonderment of how, in good time and with the simplest of words can i tell you very dearly, and i've always wanted to be able to tell you, in all honesty, that i love you.

because i do. and this is what you do when you really do. though nothing seems to happen even when i truly do. the sun still rises while my darkness looms, i can't see where or what i am gazing at, and every tomorrow still dreams of where today wouldn't or couldn't go.

this is the moment when i wish your laughters that swirls me round the world come from you in real time, still carrying the warmth of your breath that makes my ears tingle with fuzzy delight; not the coughing river of endless memories.

every day.
i want to pick up my phone and tell you.

but your phone seldom works these days.

it is morning, the tomorrow of yesterday, and i would like to sleep now.