The Intern - Day 1/50

"Hi, I'm the new intern working under XXX XXX. Today's my first day."

I was led to xxxxxx, who looked kinda lost when he saw me. I was offered a seat and the company's magazine while he get someone to set up my computer. So there I sat for 1hr 15min and no further words were exchanged, even though he was sitting just behind me.

That done, I was shown my cubicle right at the end of the short corridor, which suits me fine. He then demo-ed the company's intranet system to me, and in particular the Project Management System, which can be aptly read as PMS. My task for the whole of the day was to click around and see how I can improve the PMS, thereby bringing salvation to all the people suffering from PMS.

...

LIKE HEELLOOOO?? How am I gonna improve on a system which I've never used before? Shouldn't them the frequent users know best on what should be done? It looked fine to me as it is anyway. Silent questions in my head, and I was left alone in my corner once again.

Whatever happened to the friendly breakfast that my friend had told me about? Or at least a simple orientation around the work place? Everyone turned and stole a glance at the new face. The Intern. My attemped smile and nods returned nothing. The Intern retreats to his corner.

Nevermind the orientation, when lunch time arrived at 20min to 12pm, the Office was suddenly devoided of life. I was conveniently forgotten. Not that I need a babysitter, but isn't the first day lunch invitation a customary gesture? Not a very friendly place it seems.

Thankfully The Intern has many good friends who work around the area. A couple of sms-es soon found myself having lunch with them. So I learnt that Golden Shoe is a good place for cheap and good lunches. And I witnessed at first hand the fabled tissue-chopping culture of CBD. Tissue packets were everywhere, not for its content, but for its prowess as an object to chop a priceless seat during lunch hour. Once we finished eating and get going, a tissue packet instantly landed on where my butts was positioned half a second ago. An office lady turned and walked away smartly.

The Intern parted way with friends and headed back to the office. At the door, it dawned upon me that I wasn't given the access code. I pressed the buzzer. No response. I walked around, but I was alone. An Indian chap from another office walked down the aisle and eyed me suspiciously. I pressed the buzzer again. I could see reflections of at least two persons near the door but of course they feigned ignorance. Indian chap returned from the toilet and must have sniggered at The-One-Who-Is-Still-Standing-Outside-The-Door. Eventually I hung around for almost 10 more minutes before someone turned up and I followed him in. So of course xxxxxx must have thought that The Intern have been lazing in an extended lunch on his first day of work.

...

Not knowing what to do, I approached xxxxxx and told him I can't really figure out what to improve on the system. So he told me to think in the shoes of say, a manager, which is basically him, and what can be added to aid the manager in project management, which is basically what he do. So The Intern had to pretend to be The Manager now and know what functions or tools can be added on his first day of work which didn't include an orientation or lunch invitation. Why can't he just tell me what he wants to implement? strange.

The Intern would like to include a function that informs any Interns (current and future) of where the pantry is and the access code for unlocking the door so that all Interns may return from lunch on time.

...

The rest of the day was spent pretending to be busy. I looked forward to tea-break. At 4pm, most of the office mysteriously and quietly cleared out again. Disappointed at such attitude, The Intern went to shit. The cubicle was really cramped. My knees were touching the side of the wall. When I returned, everyone was back already, and they eyed The Intern-who-took-a-long-teabreak-on-his-first-day-of-work with contempt. I could feel their stares behind my back.

At 4.30pm, I really really looked forward to 6pm. And time.. goes by.. so slowly.. and time.. can do... sooo much...

I adjusted the time on my computer so that it goes 5 minutes faster, the same as my watch.

5pm came, but 6pm wouldn't turn up.

5.15pm arrived. 6pm is nowhere to be seen.

Even 5.30pm reached.

5.45pm caught up with the rest. The Intern is excited.

Finally, 6pm. But xxx xxx was nowhere to be found. The Intern thinks it's only polite to wait for him to come back so that I can inform him I'm leaving.

6.10pm. 10 minutes of injury time have been played. Enough is enough. The Righteous Referee blew the whistle signalling full time, off the comp, packed up and left.

The day has ended in sad defeat for The Intern.