it's time at night that i hear
the sounds in day unclear
i see my thoughts and heart
circle my mind in strange depart
the time is march and autumn bows
to scattered brown leaves, so freshly downed
the yesterdays that were not too far
lingers on, the winds of the season past
i attended law school.
i attended Computer science school.
just sounds different isn't it?
the smart bastards doing law got enough brains to make even boring things sound cool.
What do you think we are here? Nerds? I'll google you.
It wasn't too long ago that computer people were the darlings of the industry, front liners of the nation's economy. Companies worship us. the SCE was the flag-bearer for NTU. At family gatherings those days, upon hearing that so and so are in the computer line, eyes will gleam and mouths open, "wah, big money next time".
Back to the present age, post internet boom, post the-bubble-burst-boom, post whatever-that-has-got-to-do-with-IT, it's a changed scenario. BIE, MSE, MAE, SBS, HSS, CoE, EEE, NIE, BME.. and the list goes on. Nobody knows what they stands for, or what they actually do. Aren't we computer people the reigning champion of important sounding acronyms? got beaten flat on this.
"Hi, i'm from SCE." "Huh, what's that?" "School of Computer Engineering." "oh.. urmmm.." you hear the longest urmm her breath could hold. no interesting comments relating to SCE could possibly be thought of. awkward silence. she pretends to checks the handphone that refuses to ring. after 5 min, conversation rescuer me says: "yeah it sucks." I can't tell whether it was the look of bemusement or sympathy on their faces.
SCE seems to have slided to the backseat among the many new schools of NTU. Where we were once the star striker, we now slump sadly as the benchwarmer. Block N4 gets none of the impressed looks when freshies check out the entire school compound.
Vending machine that dispenses 20cents cuppucino. spanking new lifts that talks. state of the art photograhy lab with loanable professional cameras. new dedicated library. exclusive reading rooms and resource library for exclusive students. vending machines that perpetually dispenses hot water with creamer when u clearly pressed "COffee with sugar and coffeemate. 50cents". "Lift under repair". "Water-cooler under repair". "Programming Languages. New Edition. Published 1982". benches infested with termites. Creaky roller chairs with coffee stains and patched cushion.
dimmer students may not know for sure where each said item is located. but one can tell for sure where the 300 Herman Miller Aeron designer chairs worth $660,000 DID NOT end up.
Customizable timetables. 4 days week. 3 days week. Plenty of pick-whatever-you-want-just-have-fun GEs. THose bunch of slackers. We computer people are too hardworking for that. The ultimate insult is when people dun believe that SCE students have the heaviest workload and failure rate. Such audacity and ignorance. 4AUs for a subject doesn't equate to 4hrs of lessons here. Instead, it's 4AUs for 3 lects, 1 tutorial and a bonus 2hr lab that normally takes at least double of that time to be completed. Making every cents of our school fees count.
Wonderful life and recognition here.
Back at the recent family gathering. Typical formality goes as usual, "still studying ah?" "yeah, at NTU." "oh.. studying what?" "uh.. computer stuff" "Computer ahh??.. aiyah", the head shakes and eyebrow frowns, "Cannot already la.." The uncle prophetically announce. The one whose eyes once gleamed, years ago.
Suddenly down with severe flu. Fluids exiting my body at an alarming rate
i feel feeble.
And my stupid technical report writing project group is making it worst.
the report is screwed.
the one whom i initially suspect can think, can't write. disgustingly atrocious english. Spent one whole night rewriting his parts. only for him to edit my editings in his own language the next day.
the one who can passably write, can't think. every single shit is out of point.
the one who can think and write, didn't think nor write.
that leaves the sick one to write and edit and re-edit and re-re-edit everything. and get even sicker.
told them to use the proper APA style of referencing.
sent them the APA style guide.
reminded them to use the APA style.
re-sent them the APA style guide.
told them to use the APA style AGAIN.
Strongly emphasized that the course work takes a hefty 50%.
and the bloody APA referencing still ended up all wrong.
I can scarcely believe that such is the level of NTU under-grads, not some buy-your-degree-in-one-year university mind you.
Of coz not.
What were I thinking of?
Of coz i'm always right.
must have been schizo-ing last nite.
will i look back one day and realise that i'm the most foolish person ever? could that one day be tomorrow?
i will laugh at myself.
donated blood today. possibly the only positive event of the week.
tired. burnt out. tons of shit to do.
sunday soccer fracas continues. fucking shit.
drifting away from tide to tide
adrift, submerged, awashed
can't think of anything now. i'm dry
and i've lost something more than friendship, a few times over.
prevailing silences of days thru night.
i miss you, cow.
and the smiles that you put on my face
flipping a coin is 50/50
rolling a dice is 1/6
praying for something gives a similar probability whereby u declare your own denominator.
your prayer coming true does not mean that god answers. it's merely probability turning in your favour.
unanswered prayers does not mean that it's god's will. it's just what it is. that's life, and tough shit.
is it bringing sense to you yet?
"Somewhere inside all this intransigence, there has to be a prayer for peace"
-Steven Spielberg
Munich. Great film. Great tragedy. Great cinematography. Greatfuls? Grateful. and Great fools. Like many have already said, this is spielberg's best film since Saving Private Ryan, and perhaps his most important one ever.
164 mins long, and I didn't feel a minute of it.
And one off the list.
What makes a terrorist? An overwhelming belief in something? What makes a deeply religious christian or muslim or whatever? An overwhelming belief in something too.
A terrorist and a religious non-terrorist. Both have the same level of belief in what they believe in. You find a terrorist's beliefs naive. The religious non-terrorist knows that his god or the equivalent will somehow save the day, gives salvation. Isn't that naive too? If not, how would you know that the terrorist's beliefs are lesser than the religious person's.
My religious friend says she can feel her god's voice talking to her, telling her that everything is planned for. A terrorist says he can hear his god's voice in his head, telling him to declare holy war. What is there to say whose god is correct? Is your god actually doing anything?
If a spark ignite, will your belief makes you a potential terrorist? Think. Then think again.
In my simplistic and humble opinion, religions contribute nothing to world peace.
Five billion people can pray together for world peace and nothing will happen.
