The muddy swirling

Been to the doc today and he said it should be mucus getting into the ear when i equalised too hard. Should clear out in a couple days.

And my head's swirling, as is my heart.

Was wondering for a while, and sort of came upon the fact today, not by accident but rather by another bout of curiosity. Still it came as somewhat startling to me.

Have never really expect it to be.

I feel guilty. It would have been far simpler and easier had things just gone their way, straight ahead till it disappear beyond the horizon, far away from memories' clutch.

Guilty. Was it the book of memories that I painfully left? I wonder how you are now.. Feels horrible when i have no one to ask. Been trying to walk away from all these, but it's painful when I have to keep it all within me. Today it comes gurgling out into my mind again.

I long to talk to you, but I know if i hear your laughters it will prolly melt me down all over again. Now my head's swirling around. My heart's swirling around. The entire world is swirling around me in a big dizzy circle. i feel sick.

Really hope it will all turn out fine for you..