In the dreams

I dreamt of you reading my blog
I dreamt of me covering my face as we walked past each other
I dreamt of you not taking a look at me
I hope my dreams dun come true.

Hilaire Belloc

"How did the party go in Portland Square? I cannot tell you: Juliet was not there. And how did Lady Gaster's party go? Juliet was next to me, and I do not know."

- Hilaire Belloc

Suddenly remembered, from The Little Book of Great Quotes.. or something like that.

Scrubbed

Was showering and went about scrubbing myself clean with this rather useful body-brush that I bought weeks ago.

To cleanse myself of all the laziness of the past 3 months I thought.

And I really scrubbed myself thoroughly clean.

A bit too thoroughly in fact.

Overly well done.

I may have overdone it.

And now my balls kinda hurt.

... f u c k ...

The last day

Finally, consummating my love again after weeks..

4 hours of sunday soccer
3 hours of sleep prior
2 cups of coffee
1 cup of tea
0 days of holidays left

here I am, still awake to savour the last of this 3 month break, which on the last day, doesn't seem that long after all. Just to think of the list of things that i've yet to do.

Like all good consummating of love, it was awesome while it lasted, yet still too short to my liking, leaving a taste of wanton feeling lingering in my legs. Scored a rather loopy goal too.

Dying for the next bout of passionate love-making.

Summer Night

on this summer night in the summer sky
the little girl she came
on the painter's board she saw
a summer sky on a summer nite

stolen glances on moonstruck eyes
the wide world she gazes
awaiting the falling stars
on this twilight summer nite

upon the stars she wishes
a wish captured with eyes shut
lasting it a little longer
this constellation of summer stars

the little girl she stood
holding on to that elusive wish
a lonely river of milky way
still waters running deep

sky was breaking, day was near
the painter's board he kept
and the little girl may she remember
that starlit sky on that summer nite

Some photos make me very sad

The contents are even sadder

17th July, 3.40am

I feel h a p p y.

God's Debris

I'm half agnostic and half atheist. To be honest I'm not entirely sure of the difference. Therefore I'm a bit of both to be on the safe side, so that people can't point their finger at me and say, "But you're an atheist what!?".

As far as I'm concerned, there's no basis for the existence of a god. It's just a convenient excuse for all things unknown, for all things too good to be true and contradictingly, all the bad that baffled mankind. It's god's will they say.

On the day I returned from my diving trip, I reached home and discovered that my keys were left in school. So off to the library I hopped while waiting for the sister to get home. Somehow by fate or whatever, I ended up with this rather interesting book:

Nah.. just kidding..


This is the one.. by Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.

Douglas Adams.. now Scott Adams.. both are genius to me. An excerpt:

"If you believe a truck is coming toward you, you will jump out of the way. That is belief in the reality of the truck. If you tell people you fear the truck but do nothing to get out of the way, that is not belief in the truck. Likewise, it is not belief to say God exists and then continue sinning and hoarding your wealth while innocent people die of starvation.

When belief odes not control your most important decisions, it is not belief in the underlying reality, it is belief in the usefulness of believing."

"Are you saying God doesn't exist?" I asked, trying to get to the point.

"I'm saying that people claim to believe in God, but most don't literally believe. They only act as though they believe because there are earthly benefits in doing so. They create a delusion for themselves because it makes them happy."

bo liao

you suck

eh, simi dai ji?

puaca

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Predictive
Understandable
Accurate
Cheap
Abstract

puaca.

And he writes again

And so I'm back again, lotsa stuff rampaging through my head, dying to be noted down.

After two days and a hundred trips running up and down the stairs, I've moved into my new hall room on the 2nd storey at long last. Farewell 1-231, hola 2-229. End of the toiletmate whose peeing aftermath looks like a burst of shotgun fire, but also the start of the new toiletmate who's a fat smoking alcoholic. I dare not imagine which is worse.

I like my new setup.. A new beginning..?

The whole of last week was spent in the good company of my fellow Logs Of The FOC. Carried lots of chairs. Dumped hundreds of freshies' smelly bags. Butts absorbed thousands of bumpy bumps courtesy of sitting at the back of the lorry for 10 days. Laughed incessantly at tons of nonsenses. Number of freshies I now know from this Freshmen Orientation Camp: Zero.

Unfortunately this crappy week has been somewhat shadowed by a little troubles. The rising of the tide before the last one ebbs. Will I ride over this wave soon?

Found myself blocked from her MSN list.. I wonder and wonder why. A few more days to a year since the seeds were first laid. How swift, how unpredictable, hearts can changed.

I miss you.

And then there is this other little bugging thing. Wrong feelings, wrong time.

May you have the sweetest dreams
of shooting stars in boundless reams

What moments of turbulance yet again..

The way back

If you hate someone, will you ever love the person again?

In a state of desperation, will you say things that you never mean to?

The past always travel faster than you can run.

Today I got overtook again.

Questions all over.

Last words.

my scraps of last words, that I never get around to finishing.
let it be?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

was a blooming day in early july
the leaves were new as were flower buds
one hear the whispers in the wind
what sweet secrets when summer departs

in time that came, some seeds sprinkled

there were rainbows on some days
and skies were clouded with names

were not the love so sweet
that make honeybees blushes with red?

The muddy swirling

Been to the doc today and he said it should be mucus getting into the ear when i equalised too hard. Should clear out in a couple days.

And my head's swirling, as is my heart.

Was wondering for a while, and sort of came upon the fact today, not by accident but rather by another bout of curiosity. Still it came as somewhat startling to me.

Have never really expect it to be.

I feel guilty. It would have been far simpler and easier had things just gone their way, straight ahead till it disappear beyond the horizon, far away from memories' clutch.

Guilty. Was it the book of memories that I painfully left? I wonder how you are now.. Feels horrible when i have no one to ask. Been trying to walk away from all these, but it's painful when I have to keep it all within me. Today it comes gurgling out into my mind again.

I long to talk to you, but I know if i hear your laughters it will prolly melt me down all over again. Now my head's swirling around. My heart's swirling around. The entire world is swirling around me in a big dizzy circle. i feel sick.

Really hope it will all turn out fine for you..

Happy Birthday

"Hey, Happy 21st birthday.

If life is a winding journey of ups and downs, you're the pebbles that I upturned at the highest peak. Joy and bliss in life, always.