stop

may time stop still for half an hour so that i can blog a bit

oh blimey, time's up.

tea time

Swiftly they come, and depart as fast.

Exams are over once more, leaving that strange emptiness in you; suddenly you know not what to do when it's 3pm and you see the mid-day storm brewing, strange for you've missed every single similar storm for the past 2 weeks while hiding in the air-conditioned underground bunker of a study area, trying to study, and sometimes you actually succeed.

lost in space

time for a cup of tea and figure out what's next.

i am equally miserable

dawn in layers

i have to write now, halfway through dawn and the singing roomie. half-way through exams and 4 hours from the morning alarm, the price for a prime studying spot, though the quality of studying can barely match the table's premium.

tonight.

an unfamiliar departure with heavy hearts. so helpless we are sometimes, fragile.

i like to think that i think about life a great deal. but in the midst of thinking i let life slip. i do the thoughts but failed to live the life. in another phase of the now familiar cycle, i seemed to have drifted once more. soon i will rein myself in and continue, in what, i'm not so sure.

I searched deep within and came up empty; will it be a cause of regret in years to come, i do not know. can i still look into your eyes and say i've tried?

in my pursue of nothingness, i have let go much, perhaps unwittingly, sometimes in tandem. too many things in life are transitory. i wish they hang around longer, to ease the nostalgia and the sentimental in me. when we look back with fondness, too late, is often the word. to the friends and deeds that i have neglected, i am sorry.

I do not like to stick a time and date to my mind. Time is what have already passed, not the future that we look to. date and time are fictitious, transitory. in the process of remembering and adhering fastidiously to date and time, have we overshadowed the reason behind said time? Have we missed the moment?

now that i have stated a reason, let's have the occasion. a sincere thank you to those who cared and remembered and those who will remember. and deepest apologies for those whom i have forgotten.

today, my phone also dropped dead. now i hear the voices but not read the words.

is there a point to these words, other than to satisfy my whimsical mood?

don't ask me. he do not know.

from dust to dust

if dust can be used as fuel, my room will be a nuclear powerhouse

Eleemosynary

How to withdraw money from the Automated Teller Machine (ATM)

0. Wait an eternity for idiots who do not know how to use the atm
1. Insert ATM card, card facing up.
2. Enter PIN
3. Select quick withdrawal option of $50. Don't bother to go for $20 since you KNOW that you'll have to repeat the withdrawal procedure 3 days later.
4. Collect and keep your ATM card
5. Collect and keep your $50.

Unfortunately, last week I missed out step 5.


Again.


At least idiots keep their money.


I dunno what that makes me.


I think i've already done more than my fair share for charity this year.


chee bye

wasted

today is a fucked up day.

From Sook Ching to Bliss

A bloody massacre
Once took place
Here where couples tread
In peace and bliss
Of Punggol Beach

Re-cap

I hate this computer game programming shit. the whole cohort is full of friggin scary no-life geeky nerds. just like the entire IT industry. fuck. i'm fucked.

2nd Nov - today I ran 8km. I saw a snake peeping at me, its head sticking out of the drain grates. I crossed an acquaintance twice. She seemed shocked at seeing me the 2nd time down the same road. I ran past a stranger 3 times. she is on the heavy side but full of determination.

1st Nov - yesterday afternoon i dreamt of myself breathing. I was breathing differently. I exhaled when the next sequence shd be to inhale, and inhaled when I shd exhale. Suddenly I couldn't breathe, for real. I woke up.

31st Oct - That night I ran from NTU to Chinese Garden and back. I wanted to step into the garden (with the huge lake) for the first time in my life, but it was pitch black and eerie at 1.30am. I ran for 1hr 20min, because i sort of lost my way while running back.

30th Oct - Monday. Groundbreaking ceremony briefing at Orchard Turn. They spent $100 for two guys to pull the curtains. Two under-grads were dumb and cheap enough to take the job. One of them was me. Tuesday, actual ceremony. They brilliantly stapled the curtain to the floor to make it taunt. Upon cue, I pulled open the curtains but they got stuck to the floor like how i exactly feared, infront of an MP and the media. Dumb and cheap undergrad looks like a fool as well.

Inspired

The decision to abandon lessons and head to SMU for the photography talk last friday was probably the best I've made in a while. Not because it's an excellent reason to skip some crap chinaman lectures, but for what was gained in that few hours.

The speakers that day were Tay Kay Chin, Darren Soh, Wong May-Ee, Ken Seet and Samuel Seow.. All reputable photographers in Singapore except for the latter who's a lawyer and shared some stuff on copyrights and such.

All the speakers exceeded their allocated time, but not that the audience mind. Each shared their experiences on the job and gave valuable insights. And there were of course the photographs. Lots of them, all great shots. Particularly those in Ken Seet's signature b/w style. The photos practically stunned the whole hall into silence, punctuated only by occasional respectfully muted coughs.

oh brilliant.

Hazy Daze

Into the day of October haze
Sunlight a glob of misty glow
Chirpy birds atop a tree I heard
Yellow-bellied, sharp and shrill
Uplifting, absorbed was my gaze
Transfixed eyes and striding near
Two steps later what halts me, but a bang
Smashing sound I heard, right through the head
It was a lamp post, straight and stout
That with bare skull I valiantly fouled
Hear the resonance, cold black steel
See darken noon and swirling stars
Bathed in laughters faraway I heard
All in vain of a pair of chirpy fucking birds

i feel like my world is shrinking.
seem to be sliding into another pit as my days snoozed away.

muted senses, i'm shutting down.
feel me numbed and dumbed.

Liberation

I'm still alive.

Off to Rainbow Falls, Kuantan.
I dreamt of a spectacular rainbow sometime this week, in 3D no less.

Memory Archive

From a piece of paper upon which I noted down, 9 months ago, the list of well-wishers from last year's birthday, not that i celebrated it or something. Thanks to all these people who remembered:

First wave - The Swift and Deadly:
Weiweiwei the Great
Tan the Loyal
C-cube from Upstairs
Baolin the Impish
Rachel the Black
Toh Family from Hougang
Jo the Milky Cow

Second Wave - PE3 Bookworm Club:
Kevin
Gabriel
Jackson
Ah Boon
Huiling
Weiquan
Jason

Third Wave - Disparate:
Ruping the Decade Long
Huda my Favourite Malay
Angeline the Doll
Kaifeng the Chapteh King
Dali who Shoots
Dylan - AMok Duke
Dehong who is Tall

Bird brained

Spotted today:
people from hall tried staging rescue effort for poor Pussy. She was brought out of the cage and amidst traumatized scratches, was given a dry bath of powder and whatever stuff, probably in an attempt to reduce the stench. Pussy was then put back into the cage. After they left, I then took a look at Pussy, and noticed the potent pieces of shit still lying at the corner of the cage.

No dis-respect to them, but don't they flush the toilet after they wipe shit off their own asses?

Man and beast

Neighbours and others in hall found stray kitten somewhere. kitten is brought back to be aclimatised into a fellow Hall 1 hostelite, in a cage along the corridor, my corridor, 1 meter away from my door. Kitten shall here-on be referred to as Pussy.

Pussy, as are all young animals, including human babies, is very cute. Pussy gets plenty of visitors in the first week, especially late at night. Pussy sometimes mew non-stop in the afternoon when no one is around.

Pussy should make frens with my roomie's 2 surviving hamsters, who don't discriminate, as I predict that Pussy's popularity and number of visitors will rise and drop exponentially like that of my many newphews and nieces, who were once adorable human babies.

this week, the number of visitors seemed to have dropped. all the previous visitors seemed stunned and amazed that Pussy, however cute and adorable at first, is capable of shitting and smelling like shit, due to Pussy being smeared in shit as the cage is too small and no one wants to take out and play a pussy who smells like shit.

In a year's time, when Pussy gets older and not cute, like how lovely human babies turn into brats, no one will give a damn about visiting Pussy at late nights nor remember how, once upon a time, she was picked up at a park and didn't smell like shit.

Ashamed

First day of the new semester and my final school year.

And I feel ashamed of myself.

This girl stood beside me at the bus-stop. When I first saw her, she had this funnie look on her face.. not a very happy one. Moments later, I saw her clutching at her waist. Catching her breath I thought. Then she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. That was when I realised that she's actually in pain, like gastric or something.

I debated with myself whether to help her in whatever ways I can; at the very least, words of comfort can do wonders sometimes. The dilemma was shallowly settled by the arrival of my bus. I took another look at her before boarding. I am such a pathetic prick.

Along the short bus ride, I wonder if she's alrite and hope some other nicer being who are not pricks had helped her.

When it was time to alight, I found out that the bell wasn't where it's supposed to be. Looked around, then this other girl on the next seat pressed the bell instead, somewhere on my blind side. 3rd year student acting like a chao freshie.. After I got down, I turned back but she was still on the bus, and it dawned on me that she actually stopped the bus for me and I didn't even acknowledge it nor thank her.

A prick I am, twice over. I feel sad for myself.

Went back to my room and ate a peach.

 

it is the unpredictables in life that gives life to this world

- john doe. but i'll figure out the meaning later.

AdiZero Mana

I NEED a pair of this:



in green.

went to google for it, but the ALL the websites that mention it are either in jap or taiwanese.. what's wrong with singapore?

Love is

Love is two people seeking a common space and if they find it, love is forever
- christopher doyle