pulpy head

i wanna lie down and just crash on the bed with nothing but the covers over me and the fan blowing like winter's call, to lay to rest the demons in my head who day by day gain in weight like marmalade. then i got jumped by the cockroach taunting me hence i lay in wait not in bed but like a bait, waiting for the cockroach to crawl out from behind the cupboard so that i can smash it to a pulp and jeer at what the thing formerly known as a head.

unbelievably tired. of more than work.
where are we going, all decked in black and white?

pardon me, good play

what good news i have
liverpool 4, oxford 1
two was offside and one own goal
the unsuspecting young lad
wrote himself deep into the anal of history,
so many years ago.

judging by that
brilliant hindsight
who wouldn't know,
what i couldn't have known.
.

the cow with the silent bell
oh sweet brown cow
she waves with her tail
down the foggy hill
dainty steps, unsoiled hooves like twinkle toes
lest the shepherd comes to know
but silly boy he, lifts his cameo lids
what sallow eyes oh nonchalance
he chooses the brutal twilight glow

while you were gone

the day which started badly ended in the worst possible way.

mum had a breakdown at work.

.

the cow with a silent bell grazes afar,
while quiet shepherd waits.

i'm tired too.

while i ponder

i stubbed my right knee yesterday and later in the evening when i tried to lock it i nearly buckle over in pain. i hope it's minor. which isn't the case for the wrists. something's still pretty wrong there after 3 weeks.

.

 

someone else asked again if i ever get angry, or how i'll look when i'm angry, something to that effect.

fact is, of course i do, if you matter enough to me, just that the number of 'yous' remain far and few.

and whether the person in question sees it is another thing.

.

 

everyday i wonder if the tomorrows will still be there when we wake up.

sentences.

it's been feeling like a lousy week, a tree without rustling nor fallen leaves; strangely detached.

.

[Rec] was fuckin scary. i pretended to check my phone at the scary scenes. or maybe i wasn't pretending.

Only after the movie did it dawn on me that despite the 50% off, i've still managed to spend a bomb. that was fuckin scary too.

.
i can't tell you how tired i am.