the saddest photos ain't taken by me.
tonight, there's hatred. though not to you.
the words wouldn't come
i keep courting my own death
yet when on the brink, i refuse to die
and came back for more
enough is enough now
you've done too much hurt.
i would like to flee.
.
if u see me, don't.
this shouldn't be written.
but there are things that i dun wanna forget.
should you really need me one day,
i think, i'll still be here.
my dear dumdum,
i thought i'm fine and recovering. but talking to you brings back a torrent of memories. i felt the way i was feeling at my lowest point, i cried like i did all those months back. you haven't really left me at all. and that's why i can't talk to you. forgive me, forget me. you've made up your mind to leave, then just go and don't turn back. if you're truly and happily loving someone else, then you wouldn't have room nor need for me. you don't want to lose me completely, but i can't bear to lose you at all. i still find it so easy to say all the words that i couldn't say in the past: i love you and i miss you, and this pseudo life that i'm living now, is but a poor substitute for you.
hugs and silently now, goodbye.
your dumbass.
so shoo now,
my silent hugs
and your buried tears
the quiet kisses
you didn't know you had
under the blanket of your breaths
you lay awaiting
till sleep came
and took you away
still i leaned close
a whisper and a touch
too deep into your dreams
still whispering
when it's too late for words,
just silently now
as we turn our backs
in our shadows my hand holds
yours, till darkness is complete
i feel like crap sometimes.
like today and tomorrow.
february died and march was born.
can't remember how long it has been since we met. or talked. or whatever. what matters is that we are not, did not. time is probably secondary. don't want to leave a handle
in history to go back to.
yet another 29th passed quietly by. i'd be surprised if you felt differently. or did u managed to surprise yourself?
by untampered fate, i caught The Leap Years today. it's crap, but the date, which is the main protagonist here, and certain scenes are just, in a way.. too close for comfort, too personal to brush away the emotions that the movie attempts to evoke.
and i saw your name in the credits at the end. as i sat there swallowed by the red plushy seat, what else could it be but an incredibly elaborate joke played on me.
the 29th day of the second month, which would have been our first; dare i use the word 'our' here? and as it is, another four years before that day and month is here again in the game of time.
but by then, there could be no need for memories.
